December vacation nears its end, leaving me full of fiddle tunes, names for God, and Love. One divine quality that resonated with me was Ar-Rahim, the capacity to receive deep love and compassion on all levels of our being. Ar-Rahim is like the moon, whereas Ar-Rahman is like the sun--our ability to let love and compassion beam from our core. The Sufi Book of Life relates a parable to illustrate the quality of Ar-Rahim:
A student arrives at the home of Mullah, the wise fool. Mullah asks his student to help him draw water from the well, and then Mullah begins to splash water into his bucket. The student observes that the water level of the bucket is not rising as Mullah frantically splashes more water into the bucket, and goes on to notice a sizable leak at the bottom of the bucket. He points out the leak and explains to Mullah that his efforts to fill the bucket are futile. "My friend," Mullah responds, "I was only looking at the top of the bucket. What does the bottom have to do with it?"
How often it is that we only look at the top of the bucket, at what more we can receive, rather than considering how to process and lovingly hold what we have already received. With this mind frame, more is never enough, whether we are dealing with love, knowledge, wealth, or, say, fiddle tunes. Perhaps we can practice receiving all of the blessings that come to us in such a way that we are not left unsatisfied, needing more all the time.
While I was considering this divine quality over the past days, a friend suggested that I write a blog entry titled "Fiddle and Love." This friend was almost certainly referring to the romantic liaisons that have sprung up in my life around my love for the fiddle. I confess, there have been a few.
Such a blog entry might hone in on such musical romantic adventures as strapping instruments into bike paniers for a midsummer ride to Singing Beach to play tunes by the side of the ocean, or waking up to learn a new tune in pajamas before making breakfast or brushing teeth, or piano and fiddle duets in a cozy living room before bed. Or perhaps the blog entry would hone in on those pesky questions that arise at times: Are you using me for fiddle tunes? Am I using you for fiddle tunes? Or is fiddle just a humble path to YOU? Does it even matter anyway?
At this moment in my journey, there is very little that I know for sure about the fiddle or love--although I have a feeling that the bottom of the bucket is where many of the answers lie. Take care of the bottom of the bucket so these beautiful adventures remain always within; take care of the bottom so that the love you receive fulfills you and does not leave you always needing something more; take care of the bottom and keep practicing, perfecting, and loving all the tunes you already know, rather than wanting always to learn a new tune. In a sea of unsureness, I have found great comfort this week in tending to the bottom of my bucket.
With the bottom of the bucket in mind, for two days I have limited my fiddling to reviewing and enjoying the tunes I have already learned....until yesterday, when a handsome fiddler passed on a pdf file of fiddle tunes and asked me to start working on them from page one, so that he and I might bolster our common repertoire. I am eager to learn the first tune, which is appropriately named "The Bottom of the Punchbowl."
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